Friday, September 11, 2009

So many thoughts, so much time...

It's happened - kids in full day school and I'm home alone all day. I have a few friends in the same boat and they've been weeping all week. Literally weeping, literally all week. I have yet to shed a tear, which is surprising. This time I thought I'd go for the full mental break - stop eating, exercise obsessively, spend all day on facebook, plan to run away, listen to my thoughts race. On the plus side, I've lost 8 pounds! Yesterday I took the kids to buy a leopard gecko. My craziness takes many, many forms. He's actually very cute and we've named him Otis Jupiter, which is frankly awesome. I let him climb on my shirt with his funky little feet that grab everything. One of these days, Dave is really going to regret not giving in on the whole fourth baby deal. I think it would have been much easier to handle than this: what to do with a person who has suddenly become a glorified assistant, a handler?

It's taken me by surprise, really. I never thought about what it would mean when, for the largest part of their day, the monkeys wouldn't need me. I had a baby, and that was it, that was what I'd been waiting for, why I was here and suddenly meant everything to someone. I didn't know my job duties would change so dramatically and that I'd be obsolete. Oh boo-hoo, right?! I know it's right and it's good and that it's the natural order and I'm not even bemoaning it; I seriously just don't know WHAT TO DO NOW.

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