On this Father's Day...

I have to start by admitting Father's Day was never a big deal in my house until my husband became a father.  He is the #1 star of this day in my heart.  My children have THAT dad - the one who coaches soccer, takes memorable vacations with them, shows up for school events and conferences, comes home from work when he could go out with the boys, gets up in the night when they're sick, works on homework and projects.  I believe he's even tried to paint fingernails for the girls, but I could be imagining that.  David Heupel, you are the ideal father (and husband) and if I don't say it often enough, we hit the jackpot with you.  I love you.

Today I also honor my amazing Granddaddy.  He broke the mold for great guys for his two daughters and today I hate the fact that, at 90 years old, he will experience his first Father's Day without his Tiger, my mom, who brought him so much happiness.  He is such a strong force in our lives that I chose him to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day, despite the face that my real dad was still alive.

And my two dads... Never an easy thing to describe.  My real dad battled demons, which I inherited.  His wasn't an easy life and I know that he loved me the best he knew how.  He died in October of 2009 at 64.  What I miss is the annual calls on my birthday and the chance to ever really know him well.  It's a sad thing to say that he taught me what I didn't want in a husband and father, but it is true.  I don't resent him anymore at all; if anything I'm so sorry that he didn't have the chance to really live life fully.  He did the best he could with what he had to work with.  Rest in peace Daddy Mike.


My mom's second husband adopted me when I was six.  For a few years, things were nice.  I had two dads who loved me and wanted to be with me.  Unfortunately, in that time, often when a marriage ended, the fathering ended too.  I think he too did the best he could and he was a nice man, but again, the connection, the trust, the feeling that daddy was always there for us, wasn't there.  He died in 1996 and I always regret that we didn't keep the bonds closer.  I love him for his efforts and hope that he's at peace as well.

They say that girls marry their daddies - so not true in my case.  Perhaps what really took was what my Mom tried to instill.  She raised us, no sugar coating that, essentially alone.  My David has her gifts for compassion, interest in others, a strong work ethic and ability to try to always make things better.  What a strong woman to help me not make the same mistakes she made.

So Mom, Happy Father's Day to you.  Thanks for always being both parents to us.  It makes your absence that much harder to take.  I didn't realize until you were taken from us what it truly means to lose a parent.  I used to call my Mom on Father's Day, not my dad.  She earned and deserved it.

Lastly, though he doesn't deserve it, I hope that the man who killed my mom isn't arrested today - for his son's sake.  I don't want him to remember Father's Day as the day his dad went to jail.  He doesn't deserve that, any more than his dad DOES deserve that break.  I hope that the man thinks today about what it means to be a father, even when it's putting yourself in a tough situation because it's the right thing to do and showing your child that taking responsibility for our actions is part of being a good person.

Happy Father's Day to all of those doing the right thing, and Happy Father's Day to those who've failed to do the right thing.  Today can be a new day and it's never too late to be a better person.
Love the ones who need you the best you can.

Peace.